Since I led my Torrey session last week, it is now my turn to lead devotions today. Others have done it. I think that I will be fine. Some have things to say, some are meditative, some are complaints about life. I want to share song. I want to express our loyalty and togetherness in Christ, in the face of the unity of kingdoms, and dissolutions of families we experience during our Torrey session. I had just led a 3-hour discussion on 1&2 Samuel (so I really don’t feel a need to ramble about anything today), and this week a classmate will lead session on 1&2 Kings.
The Chasing Song
By Andrew Peterson
Now and then these feet just take to wandering
Now and then I prop them up at home
Sometimes I think about the consequences
Sometimes I don’tWell, I realize that falling down ain’t graceful
But I thank the Lord that falling’s full of grace
Sometimes I take my eyes off Jesus
And you know that’s all it takesWell, I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I’m behaving‘Cause Job, he chased an answer
The wise men chased the Child
Jacob chased her fourteen years
And he captured Rachel’s smile
And Moses chased the Promised Land
Joseph chased a dream
David, he chased God’s own heart
All I ever seem to chase is meWell, they say a race can only have one winner
And you know you’ve got to pull out front to win
God knows the only time I’m winning
Is when I’m chasing HimSo, I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I’m behaving‘Cause Samson chased a woman
And he chased the Phillistines
I’m not quite sure what Jonah chased
But I know he caught the sea
And Cain, he chased the harvest
While Abel chased the beasts
David, he chased God’s own heart
All I ever seem to chase is meAnd Jesus chased the money men
And He chased His Father’s will
He chased my sin to Calvary
And He caught it on that hill
And Saul, he chased the Christians
‘Til his blindness made him see
David, he chased God’s own heart
All I ever seem to chase is me
While there is much time to think about our short-comings, about the mistakes of great men (or those not so great), “all I ever seem to chase is me.” The race’s only winner is the one that pulls out front, and for each individual, the end mark is not our own perfection. It’s God’s own heart. The stories of old that we will discuss today each have some significance in light of the story of Jesus. Lest we chase after any other ultimate perspective, I pray that beginning our long discussion with this Andrew Peterson experience will set the tone.
And that belief involved my own desires. I wrapped up my life in my desires. And now I am dealing with the repercussions.
It is interesting to me how disgusting one can feel when it comes time to eat your words. To realize how irrational you were to speak- to say anything at all in a time like that. And I wanted it all- to fulfill my desires and to maintain the friendship and good grades I had. Nah, you have to choose. I will never forget the worthy words of C.S. Lewis who describes every action as a step closer to either heaven or hell. The funny thing is, when one steps into a place of sin, he can’t just step right back out of it, one step ahead on the path of righteousness. No, no, there is ONE world, ONE lifetime, and ONE economy of mercy. Only provided through the ONLY Son, the narrow path provides the narrow provisions for freedom. To deal with that sin, the Son takes the sinner and purifies, provides a new start. And then comes a lot of explanation and apologizing.
In this season of relationships, I am not pouting over the lack of relationship. In fact, there is much blessing in having time and freedom to do things to bless more people. I enjoy the adventures of different friend groups. I miraculously look forward to coming home solely for the fact that I get to hang out with my parents and siblings. There are more gifts to be given, more phone calls, and more girl dates. Praise the Lord for fun times with Tasha and Brittnee on Friday. A perfect cafe, picture-taking, and severely honest conversation.
And praise the Lord for Monica on Saturday. Homework, crafts, movies, and more brutal honesty. Without these friends, how could I possibly see clearly how to apologize to other friends I have hurt and secretly offended by secrecy?
Jon Foreman writes correctly:
I hear you breathing in
Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading out, fading out
I’ve been keeping my eyes wide open.
All your love is a syphony
All around me, running through me,
All your love is a melody,
Underneath me, running to me
Your love is a song
The dawn is fire-bright
Against the city light
The crowds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out
I’ve been keeping my mind wide open.
Symphony. Melody. Songs. Harmony. Around, underneath running, surrounding.
My eyes were unsure, and yet I, like the insane Hamlet, put on my little play. That whole adventure=failure.
Apologies are great, and thankfully, true friends understand and forgive. Finally, communication occurs. At last, there is closure and reality set in.
My roommate, in an effort to be supportive and funny, told me to get a degree in fashion, as well as accounting. I laughed, fantasized a little about it, and then got back to crocheting. Yes, my crochet hooks are out, there are balls of yarn littering the floor of my room, and I am preparing to make more trips to Joann’s soon! Here are a few pictures of the work I have done over this last week.
We Leave with Nothing but Love 