We Leave with Nothing but Love

What was it they said?
February 6, 2010, 10:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I often find myself wondering at the things that just took place. All day today, I have been pondering and praying over such things. The morning was unrestful, headache-y, and stressful. There was nothing I could do to help. And then all I could do was vocalize a prayer over the phone. The afternoon was sad and only partially productive. I am still dealing with the repercussions of a former bad roommate and seething apartment-mates over the matter. Story-sharing time was extraordinarily wearing. This evening was fun, but also thought-provoking in discussion about a close friend’s cousin who is trapped in his own floundering marriage.

What just happened today? So many experiences have been shared. So many words have been transacted. So many thoughts and emotions. And suddenly, I am alone in my clean apartment, listening to songs with no words, and eating dinner alone. My mind is transposed by a classic novel, but my soul aches to spread itself elsewhere. I want to help these people, but here I sit, alone. Have I done any good? Have I showed true love and care to every person? Have the 20.95 years of my life proven educated enough to effectively respond to each of these circumstances? Am I just another daft Talkative, like in Pilgrim’s Progress?

So before I sit down and let a few tears of desperation roll, I pray for discernment. I pray that this time I have been given would be spent well. I beg for understanding and stamina. I beg for the Holy Spirit of God to be my strength and my joy as I sit here and wonder.


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